Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry McDonald Christmas...

Yes folks,

It's that happy time of year when we all gather round the cuddy and rejoice in the blessings of how much disposable income we all have... this year we have something extra to be thankful for, as yacht rock's own answer to Jesus (Michael McDonald of course) has released a new Christmas record.

For those of you who, like me, were left wanting more after listening to McDonald's 2004 epochal release: Through the Many Winters: A Christmas Album, or 2001's joyous In The Spirit, or 2005's ground-breaking Christmas Collection: 20th Century Masters, this 4th volume of holiday classics satisfies the hunger... delivering a dangerous mix of traditional holiday classics, along with outstanding new renditions sure to kick your yacht party's egg nog keg over the bow.

Just listen to some of these enthusiastic comments about the record from two faithful Amazon.com reviewers:

"My 16 year old jazz musician said, "Wow!" - H. Willard

"To Make a Miracle", "Peace", and "On This Night" are about as close to hearing a heavenly choir as one is likely to get in this world. - Bruce Ballard

While these are great comments, I didn't really feel like they went far enough in explaining the impact that this record truly has for the devout....

So, I decided to add my own (can also be viewed at amazon here)

The Real Meaning Of Christmas, December 22, 2009
For the 4th Christmas now in this brand new millenium, Michael McDonald has blessed our spirits with the true meaning of the holidays. At this time of year, we all know how easy it is to get caught up in all the superficial nonsense of the holidays... from buying gifts, to stringing lights on our trees, to going to church and singing to Jesus.

It's easy to forget the real reason we have Christmas... to remind us all of how amazing Michael McDonald's voice is, how he came from such modest beginnings to become the king of all yacht rock, and asks only that we invite him into our hearts in return.

Thank you Michael... I look forward to your next christmas record..

I hope this helps give this legend the credit he deserves... and opens the door to 4 more great Christmas records next decade...

Monday, November 30, 2009

Shots! L'il Jon makes his mark on Yacht Rock

Hey everybody,

I know it's been a little while, but I'm back... as I was inspired over the holidays by the excellent work coming from L'il Jon and family.

Recently, he did some outstanding work with rapper duo LMFAO (pretty much Hollywood's hip-hop answer to MGMT), creating 2009's party rock anthem, 'Shots'...

While I don't have any quotes from Michael McDonald yet, a quick viewing of the video below should help illuminate several cultural similarities between crunk and yacht rock:

"If you're not drunk ladies and gentlemen, get ready to get fucked up".. right out of the yacht rock party cruise playbook.

Indeed, every step of the way, the similarities between these genres keep coming back:

Where Chicago sang "Saturday in the Park", LMFAO sings "I'm in Miami Bitch".

Where Michael McDonald sang "I'll be Your Angel", L'il Mama and T-Pain have "Shawty Get Loose".

Where Air Supply has "Lost in Love", Petey Pablo has "Vibrate".. and ... ok, you get the idea...

And when it comes to getting drunk, Yacht Rock had songs about drinking to excess covered long ago, from the somber Arthur's Theme (Christopher Cross) and Deacon Blues (the Dan), to my personal favorite: "The Pina Colada Song" by Rupert Holmes:

This badass song is similarly about treating women like shit, getting drunk and traveling to exotic places with lots of money... plus, he's got much cooler shades than Lil Jon. That and it doesn't look like the two guys in LMFAO are even capable of growing facial hair (a must in yacht rock, except for Christopher Cross, who has perfected the used-car salesman look for this genre).

Long story short... next time you feel like convincing two whores to go down on you, put away that low bit-rate mp3 of T-Pain and reach for the dusty 8-track heaven of Kenny Loggins.

Friday, October 30, 2009

You Belong To Me

Unfortunately, my first blog post begins on a dark note... I wanted to start more upbeat... but I witnessed a tragedy on tv yesterday whose story needs to be told.

America's sweetheart, Carly Simon, who recently chose to re-release the classic "You Belong To Me" on her new piece of shit record, Never Been Gone, has chosen the Today Show as the platform from which to showcase her newly found lack of all vocal skills.

You might remember this tune from it's original glory, as it was co-written by hero to all Yacht rockers: Michael McDonald. In case your ears need a refresher, here's a great performance, probably recorded from an enormous yacht somewhere:

Genius right?

Now watch as Carly Simon pulls out her sharpest knife and proceeds to butcher this gem into a piece of shit:

Sounds like a cat getting into a fight with a toddler, right?

You'll notice seminal hip-hop producer John Forte here on the backup vocals... giving Carly Simon that hip edge the young people really get down to. Check out what I just found on John Forte's wikipedia page about the record he made with Wyclef Jean after The Fugees broke up:

"The album sold 79,000 copies, a disappointment blamed in part on the fact that "the record's project manager quit Sony a week before the album was released, and Epic put little cash behind its promotional tour."

I bring this up as he shares the same denial of obvious failure to make a good record as his new bandmate Carly Simon, who is now suing Starbucks Label for:

"...$5 million to $10 million because her last album flopped. She claims the coffee giant didn't promote her 2008 album enough via its (now-defunct) music division and that "her terrible sales were a result of Starbucks’s mismanagement." [NYT]

Oh really? So you don't think your record not selling had nothing to do with the fact that you look like a horse and can't write anything any decent person would listen to?

Please, if you care about the state of yacht rock at all, do Carly a favor and write her on her myspace blog when you get a chance: http://blogs.myspace.com/carlysimon

I know I plan on writing her something very educational... as soon as she approves my friend request.

- Mike